Tag: funny
member name: Mary S.
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August 15, 2007 10:36 AM EDT --
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:28 AM EDT --
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" . . .
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August 13, 2007 05:00 PM EDT --
Weird funny place names
Would you like to live here? These are names of actual locations:
Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
Bastard (Norway)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
Brown Willy . . .
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August 22, 2007 09:37 AM EDT --
Luigi and Salvatore are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Salvator grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
Luigi whips . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:21 AM EDT --
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:24 AM EDT --
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE:"
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:25 AM EDT --
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with . . .
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August 31, 2007 08:06 AM EDT --
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here
is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the . . .
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August 15, 2007 11:05 AM EDT --
Alright, I'm listening to Stephanie Miller and she started talking about summer toys and how dangerous some of them are now. It got me thinking about all the toys I had that I LOVED growing up . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:04 AM EDT --
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange! ( have to disagree w/ this one.....WINE AND GOLD baby....GO CAVS!!!!!)
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:11 AM EDT --
According to a recent CareerBuilder.com survey, 16 percent of workers say they arrive late to work at least once a week. One-in-four of all workers (25 percent) admit to making up fake excuses to explain . . .
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August 22, 2007 10:14 AM EDT --
(DON'T SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...ITS PRICELESS!)
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. . . .
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July 19, 2009 09:39 PM EDT --
I was just telling my kids they needed to get to bed (for what felt like the 1,000th time tonight) and said, "WHY are you all NOT in bed yet?!" My youngest, who's 3 years old, just said, "Well, . . .
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August 22, 2007 09:39 AM EDT --
1. So many men, so few who - can afford me.
2. God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.
3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
4. My mother is a travel agent for guilt . . .
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February 28, 2008 03:53 PM EST --
Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?
A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of . . .
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May 31, 2008 10:51 PM EDT --
1) CRACK open your briefcase orhandbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving . . .
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May 31, 2008 11:19 PM EDT --
A father was very anxious to marry off his daughter so he wanted tried impress her first date. "Do you like to screw?" he asks.
"Huh?!" replied the surprised young man.
"My . . .
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May 31, 2008 11:23 PM EDT --
Installing Husband 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower . . .
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May 31, 2008 10:54 PM EDT --
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to . . .
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May 31, 2008 10:56 PM EDT --
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the . . .
more
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